Parents supporting teens

Supporting a dyslexic teen comes with unique challenges and rewards.

This article offers practical tips to help parents advocate for their dyslexic teens effectively, fostering their strengths and nurturing their unique abilities.

Know what it means to be dyslexic

Dyslexia awareness is fundamental for parents to effectively support and advocate for their teen. Understanding that dyslexia is simply a label used to describe how certain individuals’ brains process information differently to the norm can lead to a shift in perspective.

This understanding enables parents to adopt a more inclusive approach, where they not only focus on remediation but can also nurture and celebrate their teens strengths and abilities. Recognising dyslexia as a natural and valid way of thinking and processing information, rather than a flaw to be hidden or overcome, validates the individual for who they are.

Allowing an individual to be authentically dyslexic is a valuable gift.

Use strength based language

Having increased awareness makes it easier to know what their dyslexic strengths are and how you can highlight them for your teen. Dyslexics struggle to recognise their unique strengths and just assume everyone has them.

As parents if you can help them to see the uniqueness of those dyslexic strengths it can make a difference to how they see themselves as adult dyslexics.

Examples include:

“I like when you sensed how that person was feeling and went over to include them in the group”.
“The way you can see the big picture and explain the overall concept of this is helping me to understand it”.
“I can see you are struggling to remember the details of what was said, what strategies could help you here”?

Helping them recognise what their triggers are

Dyslexic individuals automatically mask their struggles with learning. It takes a large amount of energy to do this at school so quite often a dyslexic learner will come home and “let it all out”. When they are masking this is an indicator their brain is struggling with some aspect of learning or being at school. They respond with fight, flight or freeze mode resulting in their brain going “off-line”.

Helping them to understand what causes their brain to go “off-line” helps them to start to notice and understand what their triggers are.

Steps to recognising triggers:

1. Explain about fight, flight or freeze being a normal brain and body response that happens for everyone when they feel unsafe or uncomfortable. For dyslexic individuals however, it happens more often with their learning, and it feels like their brain has gone offline.

2. The parent starts to notice their masking behaviours, such as, avoidance, getting angry, perfectionism, being very helpful, being charming etc

3. At the end of the school day or when you notice the masking behaviours ask, “What made your brain go offline today” or “What’s happening for your brain right now?”

4. The key, at this stage, is to just listen to what they say is making their brain go offline rather than kicking into action to fix it or make it better.

Build their self – esteem and support a growth mindset

Developing the dyslexic teens self-esteem helps to improve their motivation. Parents can achieve this by focussing on and mentioning their effort and progress in any task they undertake.

This one can be challenging for parents who naturally fixate on minimising their teens’ struggles leading them to concentrate on their shortcomings.

Providing targeted and specific feedback is key to helping both parents and teens recognise the positive aspects and progress made.

Effective feedback should:

• Acknowledge the effort and progress made (no matter how small) rather than just the end result.
• Be detailed and specific.
• Be given privately, especially for teens.
• Require practice to become easier.

Encouraging a growth mindset is essential for dyslexic teens to understand that they can change how their brain works. When encouraging a growth mindset remind them of what they have achieved in the past, such as, learning to ride a bike and emphasise how it took time, effort and practice but they got there. Connect this to when their brain is developing new pathways it will take time and with effort and encourage the use of the word “yet” when referring to learning new skills.

A fixed mindset implies that a person cannot learn or improve and you may hear your teen saying “I can’t learn this or do anything so what’s the point”.

Support for yourself

Supporting your dyslexic teen means also supporting yourself.

For reassurance it helps to connect with other parents of dyslexic teens where possible, focusing on the positive aspect of dyslexic thinking.

Parental anxiety about your dyslexic teens progress through school is common but remember:

• As dyslexic teens’ brains mature so does their ability to develop strategies for managing their dyslexia.
• Speaking with an older dyslexic teen can provide valuable insights and a future perspective for both you and your teen.
• It’s important to have realistic expectations as dyslexic brains can take longer to mature than average.
• Connect with a support group to reduce feelings of isolation and provide additional resources and support.

Advocating for your dyslexic teen can have a significant impact! We are here to support you on this journey. If you have a question, or need to chat, contact us.

Helpful Links -

Made By Dyslexia, a British organisation who have wonderful advice and resources.

Empowering Dyslexia - A Talk by Danielle Murdoch sharing her journey as a dyslexic parent and entrepreneur.